I'm Chris. These are a few of my favorite things
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  • kerevat:

    y’all realize these are relatively basic activities right. y’all are flipping shit because this person said “i want to have sex with you, but i also want to do other normal activities besides sex”. u do realize that is a very regular occurrence right. that u can have sexual feelings for someone and also want to spend time with them. this concept seems new to y’all. 

    (Source: red-white-and-betterthanyou, via pizza)

    I have time to do drugs tomorrow! huzzah! And I’m a great friend because I’m giving one of my edibles to a friend because he can’t smoke since he had his wisdoms teeth ripped out. I mean yeah he’s buying them from me but still



    My lifes not going too great at the moment. I had planned to have petted at least 40% of the dogs on planet earth by now and I have petted maybe 0.5% of the dogs.

    I just did the math and it turns out 0.5% of the dogs on the planet is 26 million and I dont even think I’ve petted that many :(



    what do you call a bee that produces milk?

    there’s no such thing it’s probably just jerry seinfeld in a bee costume trying to get you to suck his nipples again

    (via unusedurl)


    i think maybe teenagers are so unhappy because the naive expectations they developed over a carefree childhood are now being relentlessly crushed and they’re slowly realizing life isn’t going to be so easy and you can’t be an astronaut without a bunch of qualifications and they’re really sad about that and that’s why i think we should all be mean to babies more often and introduce the hunger games 

    (Source: foxnewsofficial, via officialtribble)

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